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Sexual Trauma Healing

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In the summer of 2013, my life was changed forever when I was raped. The 2 years to follow were the most excruciating of my life as I pursued healing through a counselor, books, leaning on my faith & those close to me. 

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Once I reached a place where I could help others, I was a volunteer counselor to survivors. Through my experience and helping others, I learned that sharing your story is the most powerful and healing thing you can do.

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I also learned that dealing with others' reactions and misconceptions can be extremely painful. 

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Therefore I created a FREE resource for survivors and also one for supporters of survivors. 

"How to Share a Survivor Story" guides you through self-care and helpful things to keep in mind when choosing who and how to share your story.

 

Although written from the perspective of surviving sexual trauma, most of the guidance can be applied to other types of trauma as well. 

Most people have an extremely limited, and often incorrect, education regarding sexual trauma. Most of the information a person has is from movies.

 

I always say that the hardest parts after my trauma were the healing process and dealing with people's hurtful words.

 

It wasn't their intention, but unfortunately, their misconceptions led to many harmful comments. It can be a lot of work to have conversations to educate someone else. So to alleviate some of that burden, download the "Supporting a Survivor" guide to pass along to anyone you are confiding in and leaning on during your healing process. It will not only help you, but it will also be a gift to others who are probably struggling with what is the best way to support you.

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Additional Resources

Thankfully, there are so many great resources out in the world. Here are just a few to help survivors:

Online Chat or Phone Call

Click to access RAINN's (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) online chat or call their hotline 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). Both are available 24/7, confidential, and in English and Spanish.

Podcast

The HERE Podcast brings stories and tools to help you reclaim your power & reconnect with your mind and body after abuse. Through interviews, resource sharing and more, host Felicia Conner gives people a platform to share their story.

Support Group

It is so powerful, comforting, and healing to be in a group of other survivors. Although each story is different, there are things that only survivors will truly understand. Support groups can be a place to be seen and understand.

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You can find some online or in-person. Journey to Heal Ministries is a Chrstian-based one that has helped thousands of people regardless of their faith journey. 

Information on a Sexual Assault Kit (aka Rape Kit)

A kit is something to seriously consider. The formal name of it is a sexual assault forensic exam. It is an invasive and emotionally difficult process, but the findings of a kit could play a significant role if you decide to press charges. Keep in mind, this is your decision, and you need to do what is right for you. RAINN has a lot of helpful information regarding kits here to help you with our decision. Also, you can check out this podcast episode where I interviewed a nurse who conducts these exams by clicking here.

Justice Options

For those in the USA, a great resource for navigating justice is located here on RAINN's website. You can also enter the state where the crime took place here, and it will provide the following details for that state: the state's definitions of rape and sexual assault crimes, mandatory reporting, the criminal statute of limitations, confidentiality laws, and more. 

Movies

To avoid being triggered when watching movies, I use the IMDb website to see if there are scenes of sexual trauma in a movie I am considering watching. IMDb lets viewers detail the specific content in a movie that may be problematic for children to see. These details are also helpful for survivors not wanting to see triggering scenes. Not all movies have this information, but the majority do.

 

On the site, search for and click on the movie you want to watch. Then scroll halfway down to "Parents Guide." If there is a link entitled "View Content Advisory," then details have been written on the movie. Click the link to see the content detailed. FYI, be careful because the scenes are often described in great detail. One suggestion is to have a friend read the descriptions and let you know if there is anything potentially triggering.

Music

The following songs were of great comfort and/or hope to me during the most difficult times in the aftermath of my assault. Not every lyric of each song applies, but there were lyrics in each that did express what I was feeling inside, and usually would lead to a good and needed release of tears and emotions.

 

  • Be Still by The Fray - On the most difficult nights, I would play this song over and over again while crying myself to sleep. It portrays the image of being held, being known, and not being alone. 

  • Praying by Kesha 

  • Skyscraper by Demi Lovato

  • Warrior by Demi Lovato

  • Tell Your Heart to Beat Again by Danny Gokey

  • Fight Song by Rachel Platten

  • Broken by Lifehouse

  • Need You Now by Plumb

  • All I Can Say by David Crowder Band

  • Just Be Held by Casting Crowns

  • Held by Natalie Grant

  • Rise by Katy Perry

  • Not Ready to Make Nice by Dixie Chicks

  • The Hurt and the Healer by Casting Crowns

  • If We've Ever Needed You by Casting Crowns

  • Brave by Sara Bareilles

  • Unstoppable by Sia

  • Worn by Tenth Avenue North

  • Find You Here by Ellie Holcomb

  • Beautiful Things by Gungor

Airport Security

Airport Security can potentially be a retraumatizing experience for some. Years after being raped, I went through an airport scanner and was told they needed to do a "pat-down." The TSA officer asked if they could perform it here or if I wanted a private screening. I quietly told her I had been sexually assaulted before and would like a private screening. She, another TSA officer, and I went to a private room where she conducted the pat-down. The entire time she talked to me to help keep my mind calm. RAINN has a great webpage here with helpful information so you can know the options you have when going through airport security.

Books

The following books are ones either I, or others helping survivors, have read and recommended. Many happen tp be Christian-based, but they have a wealth of helpful information for anyone recovering from sexual trauma, regardless of their faith perspective. (Most of the book links will take you to Amazon where you can purchase the book. These are Amazon affiliate links. which means I get a small percentage of the sale, but it does not affect how much you are charged.)  

 

 

I have not read the following books but I have heard they have been incredibly helpful:​

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